| 1215) |
Randall K Cousins |  |
old_cola@yahoo.ca |
|
Just hit the age of 50. Looking back on my life, I have never luck in winning any thing, had to work for all the things I had. I have never owned my own home, raised my 3 kids in rented place's. never owned a new, or newer car, newest car I ever had was 10 years old and in need of work, and with the newer cars now, you cant even fix them your self. even the car I have now is about to die on me. my kids are growen up and off on there own, living in other city's. a year and a half ago my wonderful wife of 23 years ran off with another man. and I have been very much alone ever since. I now live in a very small one room apt. have a low paying dead end job that I cant seem to get out of. and no longer even have a little work shop to do my woodcarving's in to keep my mind off of all that I have lost. I am just makeing ends meet and have no money saved up. I have no idea if my wish would be to have my car fixed, or to live closer to my kids, a good paying job or to have a new love come into my life.
 Saturday, November 05, 2005 at 12:18 |
| 1214) |
emka | |
deepdeepblue00@yahoo.com |
|
I am dying to be positive, but it is hard when you are born with a dark cloud above your head.This dark cloud won't stop raining on me when sun shines on everyone.I got fired from a job from an abusive employer that fired me for the lack of customers in his business.I got kicked out of the nursing school for not being able to pay for the tuition on time and was never awarded any grants or financial aid even when I was unemployed.Additionally,I can't afford money for the ticket to visit my dear parents I havent seen for 12 years.I believe in God and good deeds, so I help people where I can and if I can, but I haven't met anyone who could help me.It just seems that I am born with this cloud above my head and by now I am used to it just like people are used to have hair because they're born with it.I was many times winner in the scam games, victim of many betrayers and liars, abusers, but I am trying to be positive,or at least on my way to find out how!I need help with paying rent, with tuition for books and school, food and everything that many don't appreciate since they have it.Should I mention that I need more financial help for food and to visit my dear parents, to bring my dog for a checkup and vaccination, to finally marry and have a wedding, to visit a doctor for checkup, to remove a suspicious looking spot or to have a root canal done? My faith helps me keep my mind clear since I can walk, talk and I am not dead sick(?).Every time I need food or am sick, and every time I think of how nice it would be to finish 1 more year of college and have a decent job, or everytime I wish I could visit my parents and hug them, help them...I think that someone might have it worse than me, and instead of feeling better to not possibly be in the worst situation, I feel sad for those people I think of, that could have it worse than I.How much can an heart actually hurt?Just when I think I cannot be hurt anymore than I actually am, I am granted a proof very soon.Just when I think I can't be broke anymore, another bill proves me wrong.And just when I think that I should work on getting optimistic, I start crying...and guess what?
Has anyone ever evidenced the max on how poor and hurt a human can actually be, because I would like to sign up for new record breaking.
I hope that every single wish of every single nice and good hearted human will be granted, and I wish that my parents will get better, and I wish that there is no mean people,that all children have good parents and both parents, nice warm home and meals, that all animals in the world are healthy and have plenty of food and don't suffer, I wish there was no drugs and alcohol and no diseases.I wish that everyones Chrismass, Hannukkah, Quanza, Ramadan and other hollidays (sorry for not knowing them all) be happy and bright with all the dearest people around.May Almighty grant everyones wishes and afterwards maybe give peace and happiness and health to my family, and may he ease our worries.Maybe someday the dark cloud will disappear? One million dollars will make no one happy person, but who knows, we never got one!You don't know 'till you're there, it might take away many worries, and help many,many,many poor souls.It is optimistic to dream about it, but it feels guilty somehow. God bless you all.
Friday, November 04, 2005 at 20:24 |
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