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Submitter:
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Short Story |
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Spanish tapas story |  |
Tina Little Spanish tapas story online |
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It's your first time. As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for awhile searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely.
He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver, your body tenses, but he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him -- he's done this many times before. His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an ease entrance.
You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way, pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins moving in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you. After a few frenzied moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle, that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience. You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.
 Saturday, July 19, 2003 at 16:28 Host: 151.234.59.153 |
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Five reasons to believe computers are female:
1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."
4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers should be referred to as if they were male.
Their reasons follow:
Five reasons to believe computers are male:
1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.
Saturday, July 19, 2003 at 16:15 Host: 201.234.58.66 |
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Some excerpts from the Internet Review of Doublespeak (NCTE) which you all should find amusing:
A reader reports that when the patient died, the attending doctor recorded the following on the patient's chart: "Patient failed to fulfill his wellness potential."
Another doctor reports that in a recent issue of the American Journal of Family Practice fleas were called "hematophagous arthropod vectors."
The letter from the Air Force colonel in charge of safety said that rocket boosters weighing more than 300,000 pounds "have an explosive force upon surface impact that is sufficient to exceed the accepted overpressure threshhold of physiological damage for exposed personnel." In other words, if a 300,000-pound booster rocket falls on someone, he or she is not likely to survive.
A reader reports that the Army calls them "vertically deployed anti-personnel devices." You probably call them bombs.
At McClellan Air Force base in Sacramento, California, civilian mechanics were placed on "non-duty, non-pay status." That is, they were fired.
A personal ad from an unidentified mewspaper announces that a "formerly single man" seeks a single or married woman.
After taking the trip of a lifetime, our reader sent his twelve rolls of film to Kodak for developing (or "processing," as Kodak likes to call it) only to receive the following notice: "We must report that during the handling of your twelve 35mm Kodachrome slide orders, the films were involved in an unusual laboratory experience." The use of the passive is a particularly nice touch, don't you think? Nobody did anything to the films; they just had a bad experience. Of course our reader can always go back to Tibet and take his pictures all over again, using the twelve replacement rolls Kodak so generously sent him.
The description on the package of Stouffer's Veal Tortellini with Tomato Sauce says it contains "exquisite egg pasta." The list of ingredients, however, includes "cooked noodle product."
In St. Louis there is an oriental rug store that advertizes "semi-antique" rugs.
The Minnesota Board of Education voted to consider requiring all students to do some "volunteer work" as a prerequisite to high school graduation.
Senator Orrin Hatch said that "capital punishment is our society's recognition of the sanctity of human life."
According to the tax bill signed by President Reagan on December 22, 1987, Don Tyson and his sister-in-law Barbara run a "family farm." Their "farm" has 25,000 employees and grosses $1.7 billion a year. But as a "family farm" they get tax breaks that save them $135 million a year.
Scott L. Pickard, spokesperson for the Massachusetts Department of Public Works, calls them "ground-mounted confirmatory route markers." You probably call them road signs, but then you don't work in a government agency.
It's not "elderly" or "senior citizens" anymore. Now it's "chronologically experienced citizens."
According to the FAA, the propeller blade didn't break off, it was just a case of "uncontained blade liberation."
Saturday, July 19, 2003 at 15:37 Host: 120.55.56.12 |
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Simplifying the English Language...
Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasability study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments.
European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessary difficult; for example: cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes to iron out these anomalies. The programme would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.
In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less letter.
There would be growing enthousiasm when in the sekond year, it was anounsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'. This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty per sent shorter in print.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.
We would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing 'th' by 'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'. Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o kould be dropd from words kontaining 'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drems of the Guvermnt vud finali hav kum tru.
What did that last paragraph say? I think I like our old language better.
Saturday, July 19, 2003 at 15:27 Host: 130.40.158.39 |
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Bulgarian Rhodopean Moussaka
(BulgarianRecipes)
Ingredients:
3/4 lb lean ground chuck
1/2 lb lean ground pork butt
4 cups 1/2-inch cut peeled potato cubes
1 large onion fine chop
1/3 cup crushed garlic
3 large fresh tomato fine chop
4 large eggs (beaten)
1/2 cup feta cheese
1 1/2 cup plain yogurt
1/2 cup fresh chopped parsley
1 Tsp fresh chopped oregano or chubritza (see note below)
3 Tsps flour
4 Tsps cooking oil
1/2 cup chopped green onion
Salt and pepper to taste
Instructions:
1. In a deep skillet, brown ground meat together in oil.
2. Add onion, garlic, oregano, salt and pepper, cook for 5 more minutes.
3. While this is cooking, mix eggs, yogurt, feta, and flour,well.
4. Mix ground meat, potato, tomato, parsley together.
5. Place in baking dish, and pour egg mixture over top.
6. Sprinkle green onion on top
7. Bake for 1-hr covered at 350 deg.Then 1/2-hr uncovered.
8. Let rest for 10 minutes before serving.
Note:
You can use chubritza instead of oregano. ( much better ) Serve with a mayonaise based cucumber salad, and boiled carrots.
Saturday, July 19, 2003 at 13:44 Host: 202.89.158.107 |
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Americans are world-class snackers. It’s a national past-time (some would say disease). Even multi-starred chefs offer tasting menus, which for a price allow you to taste dishes from the chef’s repertoire in a multi-course extravaganza.
With our appetites for grazing, it’s surprising that only recently we have begun to discover and appreciate Spanish tapas. The Spanish, notoriously late diners, might have a few tapas late in the day to take the edge off early hunger or even to serve as supper. Tapas range from simple fare, bread perhaps brushed with olive oil or a bowl of olives, to much more complicated fare — and almost by definition, are to be shared.
And right now tapas are hot (or cold) at Richmond’s new tapas bar, Europa, with its comfortable mix of urban heat and cool Euro-chic. In a refurbished warehouse in Shockoe Slip, designers let the old show where it counts, but with blond wood, terra-cotta tiles, and a glass-enclosed kitchen in the back, the ample space has warm, pleasant sophistication.
Europa has been discovered, too, by the smart set, as intent on relaxation after hours as they are on making the next deal or winning the next case. On a crowded Friday night, the crowd makes for a gregarious, very noisy din.
The instant success of Europa is probably no accident. Michelle Williams, co-owner and chef of the popular Hard Shell next door, knows the scene. With her partner here, John Angelopulos (formerly of the Country Club of Virginia), they seem to have a pulse on the times.
We went for a dinner of tapas, but if you’re in a more traditional mode, you can start with tapas or even a salad and follow with an entree.
We ordered a bottle of Spanish red and began serious negotiations (sharing with only one other person means a bit of give and take), finding comfort in a complimentary basket of warm focaccia. The tapas ($3.50-$6.95) are organized on the menu — cold and hot, and each of these categories has sections for seafood, meat and cheese and vegetables. We ordered a couple at a time, starting with the cold ones. There is little on the menu that is strange, but Spanish cheeses and sausages are probably not as well-known as those of Italy or France. Spanish nuances are found in unusual combinations and the finishing sauces. Other dishes, such as hummus, lamb meatballs and fried calamari are more generically Mediterranean. But the fun is exploring — tapas are a taste, not a commitment.
Several of the tapas serve as samplers: For instance, a bowl of several kinds of olives, a plate of Spanish cheeses or different hams. Mediterranean shrimp is really a little salad with garlic mayonnaise (aioli) and toast. Fried calamari has become almost a cliché, but this version is deliciously light and tender. Four stuffed half-shell mussels with ham and sauce are hot and delicious.
I liked the robust flavors of the lamb meatballs with an exotic, perhaps Moorish edge. Likewise, potatoes, chorizo sausage, and Manchego cheese combine into a hearty little casserole for a cool night.
The one dish from Spain that almost everyone knows is paella, and I’m delighted to see it on a Richmond menu. Serving two to three people ($29.95), it is offered in three different versions (traditional, mixed seafoods, and chicken and sausage). A heaping bowl — not as beautifully presented as it might have been — was brought to an adjacent table where a pitcher of sangria added another authentic touch. Because this complex preparation should be served as soon as it is made, you rarely see it as a daily menu feature. What a festive way for friends to share and celebrate.
Other entrees ($13.95-$18.95) have Mediterranean twists, sometimes decidedly original, such as lamb kabobs, osso bucco and beef tenderloin-and-risotto lasagna.
We ended our little tasting adventure with a very chocolate mousse on one tough cookie and a light lemon sorbet.
Europa is a fun place to spend some time - no bull about it.
Europa Mediterranean Cafe & Tapas Bar
Saturday, July 19, 2003 at 10:50 Host: 231.114.158.55 |
Short story exchange
